Don’t Call Me A Christian

Heretic and Witch

When I would meet people I used to tell them that I am a christian whenever it would come up in  conversation. they would turn cold and cringe and then I would feel the need to explain (or probably be asked) which kind of christian I was? – the hateful judgmental type or the open minded type? it is because of the proverbial wall that today’s “christians” have erected between themselves and the world that I no longer affiliate with the term in question. it’s not worth leaving a bad taste in someone’s mouth and destroying relationships before they have a chance to get started just because of a title. 

I do not feel as though a title is necessary for me to demonstrate the inherent qualities and attributes affiliated with said title. For instance, I would rather someone show me they love me rather than say it. You will not find me wearing tees that say “Christian” or “Jesus” or anything that announces my faith. You will not find me driving around with those Christian fish symbols on my car either. I feel like people should be able to tell I follow Christ simply by my actions and nothing more.

But where did the word “Christian” come from? At it’s most basic level as I understand it this word was first used at Antioch. This is a story which can be found in the New Testament in the book of Acts. (Acts 11:26) From what I gather there was a division between the Jews who were going to follow Christ and those who were going to be fundamentalist and stay with the Old Testament teachings. So there needed to be some way to recognize followers of Christ and so the the word “Christian” was coined.

Now let me throw some shade at these folks running round here calling themselves by the name of my Savior who really are a hot damn embarrassing messy mess of a mess!!! These people have given us believers in Christ a bad reputation and have caused a lot of damage to a lot of people. Here are some examples: 

EXHIBIT A: My boyfriend and I were late (by a few minutes) to the gate for our return flight to Baton Rouge from Dallas. We had been turning up and kiki-ing in the lounge and yeah well shit happens. We get to the gate just as they are giving our seats away to some other people. The lead gate attendant left us standing there without so much as an acknowledgment of our existence. I asked her to explain what was going on and why we could not board and she said “because you’re late.” I then asked “as of when”? Her rude reply was “NOW”! At this time in my life I did not yet understand the 20 minute late rule on domestic flights which I now do. All I needed was a bit of education and I would have understood what was happening. She refused to give me that and she also refused to give me her name and instead got into a yelling match with me. As she stormed off without even booking me and my boyfriend on the next flight she spouts off “have a blessed day!” This is type of “Christian” behavior that pisses me off to no end. These bitches do not even possess basic human decorum and have the nerve to say shit like “have a blessed day.” I have heard this saying more times than I care to remember and it immediately puts me on guard whenever I hear it. The airline did end up compensating me and my boyfriend after the way we were treated was researched. 

EXHIBIT B: This artifact who lives next door to me has invited me to her church and all the Christian things I guess she feels like she must do. Well, petty Betty (a.k.a. Karen) decided one day that she had a problem with me throwing my decaying roses into the lake behind our houses. Before this she had a problem with the nutria rat who lived somewhere in the wilderness behind our houses. I thought he was cute and so I named him Master Splinter. The whole scenario fit well with the turtles that also live behind our houses hehehe. This hefa said she prayed to God for the rat to get run over by a car and die. She skipped right over praying for it to not destroy her property (which he was not doing, he was just looking for food) and she skipped right over praying for Master Splinter to find a different place to live. In good ole “Christian” fashion she sought to kill what she did not approve of. I digress – She has always been a lawn nazi but this was the breaking point for me. I get a text from this woman asking me to go and remove the roses from the lake because she does not like the way it looks. This lake stretches the length of about 12 houses, is full of all kinds of wildlife, has all kinds of shit floating in it and is community property – not her’s. I never complained when she had her grass cut and left the remains on my driveway and back patio which was a regular occurrence. It’s fucking grass it will die and wither – no big deal. Not that it ever crossed her mind to consider this from my perspective nor to inquire along these lines at all but I throw the roses in the lake rather than into the trash for the same reason – they will die and ultimately be reinvested into nature. Let us not even mention how she let the tree in her front yard get overgrown and reach over into the front of my house. In her hypocrisy, she is complaining about something that is not even happening within her property line.  I told her to never contact me again – after dealing with Covidiots and everything related to this pandemic I have zero patience for bullshit. Like a day or two later she storms out of her door to take pictures of some yard work (fucking stalker) me and my family are doing in my backyard near the lake as if to gather “evidence” or whatever. I have not heard from here since and it honestly feels like a relief. What a terrible way for someone to act who had previously invited me to church. If I was young in faith and undecided on a spiritual path, based on Karen’s example, I would not have chosen Christianity. 


EXHIBIT C: ANTI-VAXXERS. Awww shit!!! Yep them sons a bitches. The first thing that comes to my mind is a scripture from a book in the Old Testament, Jonah. Jonah 2:8 says “They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.” As I watch people I know and people on various media sources die from Covid who all refused to get the vaccine I find this scripture to be so befitting. I am not happy they are dying but I am mad that these people tend to be like “God will protect me”, “This vaccine is not of God” and so on and so forth. I am appalled at the example they are putting on display for people who are considering which spiritual path they want to take. Common sense should be inherently mixed with faith in order for a walk of faith to make sense to the world. Anit-vaxxers causing a raucous like this makes us followers of Christ look like we lack knowledge and reasoning and are overly spiritual. I would counter the anti-vaxxers and say that God gave us science and the vaccine. Take it. I need the world to know that these fools do not represent the mind of Christ or the body of Christ at large. They stand alone with this sort of rhetoric. Christ would refer you to the Old Testament to the book of Jeremiah. Jeremiah 8:22 says “Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then is there no healing for the wound of my people?” In other words you have a way out but refuse to take it and so you remain ill.

EXHIBIT D: Republicans and their anti-abortion agenda. To be honest Republicans are against just about everything except for guns but I will keep this focused on one thing. Their recent legislation in Texas is what prompted me to include this part. But honestly this whole collaboration with the Republican Party and Evangelicals is a mockery of what it means to be like Christ. He was not forceful. He was not judgmental. In fact the religious folk of Christ’s day marveled at how chill he was. This persecution of women in Texas is quite the opposite and is reminiscent of Saul before his conversion in the book of Acts. Saul went to the Sanhendrin (people with authority) in order to get legal backing behind him to persecute and jail those who did not believe in the manner in which he believed they should. It was while he was en-route to execute his persecution of those he deemed to be wrong that Jesus intercepted him and thus we have our road to Damascus conversion story. (Acts 9) This Texas law is so meddlesome it even goes so far as to allow for lawsuits against people who aid abortions and those that turn people in can get paid up to $10,000 for snitching. Whenever you sue somebody you have to prove what personal loss and damages were incurred. In this instance, anti-abortion people have suffered nothing. They are just nosy and self-righteous. 

ALL of this reminds me of the inquisition. “The Inquisition was a powerful office set up within the Catholic Church to root out and punish heresy throughout Europe and the Americas. Beginning in the 12th century and continuing for hundreds of years, the Inquisition is infamous for the severity of its tortures and its persecution of Jews and Muslims.”

These Texas fools do not represent the body of Christ. They truly are a vile part of this nation and an embarrassment to us globally. I say to them the same thing God already did in the Bible which they seem to only read to find out what is wrong with other people rather than with themselves:

1 Peter 4:15 – But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters.

Matthew 7:1-3 – Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you measure, it shall be measured to you again. And why behold the mote that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye?

Proverbs 26:17 – He that passes by and meddles with strife belonging not to him, is like one that takes a dog by the ears.

Apart from these examples here there are all the “no’s” the church has told us that made Christianity sound like a prison sentence and I just will not stand for it anymore. They said it was a sin to drink alcohol, to masturbate, to dance, to wear too much jewelry, etc. etc. etc. The way these church people have acted has tarnished the Christian reputation so I feel it is necessary to point out that these these fools do not represent all people who call upon the name of Jesus. There yet exist followers of Christ who will not judge you and who will not look at you through a Christian filter and interact with you based on  how you measure up. 

This is as far as I will go with this matter at this point – this issue is not resolved yet. My next book (Don’t Call Me A Christian) will dive deeper into this but an underlying theme with the issue I take with people who call themselves Christians is how inherently one-sided and selfish the Christian perspective has become. It seems like it is their way or no way and that seems to be non-negotiable to them. They could care less about and are not interested in finding out about anybody else’s point of view because they’ve already decided that they have got everything figured out. But true Christianity = humility, which means being willing to take a second look at things.

Sex Drugs and Jesus Memoir


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